The new year always seems to be a starting point for new things in our lives. We make all sorts of New Years Resolutions and promises about how we are going to make our lives better. I’ve done this very thing myself. One year I was determined to conquer two big dreams: finish my bachelor’s degree, and write a book. Although these are fine goals it would be a daunting task to accomplish both of these things with a full time job. Other parts of life also pressed on me as well: my mother had been in a serious car accident, our daughter was struggling with a serious injury and my husband’s job faced an unsure future.
I put a lot of pressure on myself to accomplish these big dreams as well as be there for the people in my life. I wanted to comfort them, and help in anyway I could. Have you been at this place before? Big dreams on the horizon but the struggles of life crashing in on you at the same time?
My problem? I fought against putting my dreams on hold so I would be able to love and serve important people in my life. Somewhere I got the idea that if I couldn’t serve others, work at my full time job, AND pursue my big dreams that it must be my inadequacies that kept me from doing so. I’ve always battled with the idea that performance defined my worth.
The result of this impossible striving was an emotional and physical crash. I came to a place where I knew I just couldn’t do it all anymore. After spending some time in prayer and getting wise counsel from my husband I prioritized. My book was put on hold, (I wasn’t leaving it for good, it was just put aside for a time) and shaved down my school schedule to one class a semester.
This freed me up to spend some time with my mother, support my daughter during her healing, and encourage and pray with my husband. During this time, I asked God to lead me in the direction He wanted. I sensed big changes were coming in our life but I didn’t know what that looked like and honestly, I was afraid. Afraid I would never get back to my dreams, afraid my daughter’s healing would be a long time coming, afraid of what my husband’s future looked like, and afraid of what would come after my job. When you overlay these fears on top of each other it says this: “If you aren’t all things to all people all the time you are not valuable.”
But God’s Word says differently,
I took a spiritual deep breath – I allowed my spirit to bask in this truth and so relieving the pressure that built as if I had been holding my breath for a long time. Taking care of my family, doing my job, and pursuing my God-given dreams did not give me value or make me more loved by God. In fact, nothing could or can stop Him from loving and accepting me so it was time to stop trying so hard.
God led me down a new path on our journey together. I began to trust Him for my future dreams. His timing is perfect and He would show me when and how they would come about. Together God filled me with what I needed to serve my family well, to finish out the job I loved, and prepare for the next path we would take: a move back to our home state and the beginning of the thrilling journey he had laid before me.
How did this come about? What questions did God answer and what did He ask me to answer? Please join me again next month as I share the 5 important questions to prepare for the dreams and goals of your future and how you can go about answering them. The future awaits.