Will I ever learn? I’ve asked myself that question so many times over the years. Sometimes I’ve asked that question when I have followed my selfish desires instead of following God’s lead. Other times my impatience took over and I chose a thoughtless way. I didn’t weigh my options by seeking counsel or waiting on God for His answer. When my selfishness or thoughtlessness guides my actions the usual outcome leads to the painful question, “When will I learn?”
Often my impatience and selfishness is wrapped up in a desire to be what I think I’m suppose to be or do, and not what GOD is calling me to be or do. I minimize God when I do this. Minimizing God negates what He wants to do in and for us as well as in and for others. One of those moments sits as a thorny reminder that choices should be weighed with godly counsel, diligent prayer, and God’s call before moving ahead.
Earlier this year registration opened up for an exciting conference. Last year’s attendance proved life-changing! I met new friends, spent time in holy worship, and was given a new direction by God for the next steps on my journey of faith. So it seemed like a good idea to sign up and go again, right? I knew I would learn so much, meet up with old friends and meet new ones. The conference filled up fast and there was always a waiting list. How could there be anything wrong with signing up…right?
The problem with this thinking – God wasn’t in the equation at any point of my thought process. It just “seemed” like a good idea. When I submitted my registration and paid the fee I noticed that familiar feeling. Something wasn’t right. I didn’t feel excited about going. Deep inside the Holy Spirit continued to gently nudge me, “This isn’t in My will for you right now…” “There’s something else I have for you…” “Someone else is praying for that spot…” This last prompting really got to me. Was I denying someone else the opportunity to be blessed by the conference?
I went back to the beginning. Instead of walking the path of my own selfish choice-making I sought after God’s will and His plan for me. There is a tried and true decision making compass God has lavishly given us to guide our lives. I needed to trust in it again.
I want to share with you what God once again took me back to as that true compass when making decisions and plans for our lives:
I realized that God has a beneficial plan mapped out for me. It was time to slow down for a moment and hear what He was calling me to. It was time to take the decision about attending the conference to God in prayer. I also talked with my husband and a trusted friend about all the pros and cons of going. It didn’t take long for me to realize that God was calling me to cancel my registration. I felt such peace knowing that I was following God’s plan for me and that someone who was on the waiting list would get the call that a spot had opened up for them. I don’t completely know why God has asked me to stay home from the conference but I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders and I am at peace with knowing God has a plan. Lesson learned.